So what did I get out of all this?
This is my last post. I might add a couple more photos or something but I’m done hiking so I’m wrapping up this blog. Here’s my final thoughts, although I’d like to edit and add more to them, and sorry it took so long to get this last piece of the puzzle (see #5) up online.
Top 5 things I missed, or have a newfound appreciation for:
1. Climate Control. In the first few days I spent around me dad's house, I subconsciously stayed awake throughout the nights, with the lights on and listening to music or whatever. And during the day, I'd hit the lights, close the blinds and watch a movie or something in the dark. Being able to adjust the overhead lighting is nothing short of playing God. Yes I had a headlamp while I was hiking, but that just gives you focused light, like looking at the world through a periscope. Being able to have a bright and sunny world at 11pm and a dark and cozy one at 1pm really is defying “God’s Will”. Harnessing electricity is mankind’s greatest triumph over the natural world.
Although some things were arguably better in the hiking condition. Getting up to pee in the night, I'd just click on my headlamp and stumble however far I deemed necessary. To walk across the house, however, requires the successful navigation of 4-5 light switches as you move throughout the house. I kept forgetting that light doesn't come from my forehead, and I keep reaching for it and would be stuck standing there, looking like a I'm pretending to be a unicorn, before realizing it. But lights, as well as overhead fans, A/C, window shades, thermostats, and more are amazing. Furniture is something I can’t even begin to discuss, and would probably be #6 if this list expanded to a top 10.
2. Women. Now keep your head out of the gutter on this one (though I miss them that way too) but I just mean the COMPANY of women. The PRESENCE and INFLUENCE of them. I've always been more of a ladies' man than a man's man. I've been living in a world without a woman's touch. And, as James Brown puts it, "it's a man's world, it would be nothing without a woman or a girl." I become more nerdy, slovenly, anal-retentive, and just upset without women. I'd like to think that the perfect woman is one around whom I can be all nerdy and slovenly, as that's my natural state ("Let's eat a lot of ice cream and watch Lord of the Rings!"). But all the pros and cons of being domesticated are gone when I'm stuck in the woods without the company of women. I missed just having them around. Flirting, or even just listening to women interact with other women. I got so sick of the “manly” conversations people would attempt to engage me in. Being out of the ballpark, much more than home runs you just miss stepping up to the plate.
Every woman gets about a 2 1/2 point bump in the eyes of a lonesome hiker, so a 4 1/2 becomes a respectable 7 and a 7 1/2 becomes a perfect 10. Basically all single strait women within a decade of my age are attractive to me now. And, more than anything, it's just great having them around.
3. Cotton. It's sucked wearing these 21st-Century fabrics 24/7. A nice cotton tee goes a long way. When was the last time you went 6 months without wearing jeans? Cotton (or just "comfy clothes") is such a luxury I can't even begin to articulate it. And being able to wear one comfortable cotton outfit one day, and then being able to wear a completely different cotton outfit the next, and not have to carry the other outfit the whole time, is absolutely fantastic.
4. Not having to unpack and repack everything every time I move. Don't even think about the weight. Just imagine having to pack your whole house into your car every time you drive somewhere. I took George Clooney’s character from Up In The Air a little too literally about having your whole life in a backpack. It’s exhausting. People may say you don’t get too attached to places you are temporarily, and that’s true. But if you’ve ever been in one hotel room and then been forced to move to another you know it’s not enjoyable. And now imagine that over and over and over again, every time you go anywhere.
5. A Lack of Perfectionism. It sucks having to reach 100%. How many groceries are in your pantry? When I would get to a town I often would have literally no food left. Imagine going grocery shopping, and then eating exactly everything you bought (no more no less) over, say, 5 days, and then going back to the store. Repeat. You might think that's what you do already but I promise you, you do not. Some specific food, sure. You buy milk, run out, then buy more. But spices, condiments, dressings? These you seem to never run out of. You may see an empty pantry when you zone off at it and proclaim there’s no food in the house, but I wholeheartedly disagree.
When I hiked the Tahoe Rim Trail last summer I (incorrectly) said I wasn’t going to thru-hike anything again, because I didn’t like that “pushing thru to get to 100%” mentality. It’s nice to just do stuff, not do 100% of something. I’m a big dabbler, and I’ve oversaturated myself with hiking, which was just a light hobby before this.
So go out there and hike, but not too much. Interact with those you find attractive and for heaven’s sake wear what feels comfortable and adjust the rest of your adjustable context to your comfort. But that which you can’t control you shouldn’t focus on, and none of us control 100% of our world. Thanks for reading this and I’ll let you know if I decide to do another blog on some other adventure. I’m writing this as I commute via trail through Louisiana so I’m still cursed with the need to be transient, but I’m looking forward to spending as much time as possible in the same place, whereever that may be.
